I’ve always been fascinated with the interaction between women and men. It’s often an entertaining to watch.
It’s something I’ve become very astute to as I’ve grown older. Both men and women pick up on each other’s games. Some play it while others completely throw it out the window. I usually throw it out the window with caution and say ‘I don’t have time for this shit’. It’s a psychological game played to get the upper hand on the other. The one who cares the most is considered the loser in a winner-takes-all game. The old gender roles have become non-existent or slowly obsolete. However, it doesn’t mean women and men don’t still believe in chivalry.
In my final college year, I became really good friends with a class mate — Stephanie. We both came from completely different backgrounds; however, it didn’t stop us from becoming really good friends. I was one of the few people who she let her guard down with. She was a damage soul and I wanted to repair her. But there was more to her than she would lead me to believe. For her past, read my previous entry here.
As the college year progressed, we started to flirt with each other. At first, it was all fun and games until we started to have those awkward sexually tense moments. We started to study exclusively with each other and meet for dinner. We would spend our days and nights with each other at school.
Our classmates started to notice how much time we spent with each other. They asked the only logical question about us… ‘What was going on between you two?’ We told them there was nothing going on, which was absolutely true. We were just really comfortable with each other. They also asked me if she was still with her ex. I always replied, ‘It’s not my question to answer.’
However, I started to realize I was falling for Stephanie. I found the uncensored, vulnerable, and authentic Stephanie very attractive. She wasn’t the hard-to-get, tough, and independent woman she portrayed to others. She was an insecure, sensitive and thoughtful person. She was a human being. A great one too.
During our last semester, she invited me over to her place during finals week. We hung out, watched a movie then ordered to go. We had a great time and I still remember it as if it was yesterday. We were acting like a couple. It was something that happened naturally cause we had great chemistry. Our banter was witty and funny; but, I could tell she was testing me with some of her remarks. Like any other time, I would roll my eyes and give a sarcastic remark then thought ‘Not this bullshit’.
As the night drew to a close, we went to bed and laid next to each other cuddling. I was being a complete gentleman cause I respected her. However, I did asked her what was going with her and her ex. She said she didn’t know except they were trying to work it out. At that moment, I realized Stephanie really enjoyed the attention she was getting from me. I couldn’t tell whether she wanted more from me, but at that moment I concluded it was time for my attention to be turned elsewhere. I waited for her to fall asleep then went home. With that said, always remember this quote…
Some People Just Like Your Attention, But Want Nothing More